Wednesday, August 30, 2006

War Jokes

(another of the infamous Johnnie Walker ads in Lebanon prepared by the local office of Leo Burnett)

Abul Abed and Other Jokes Make Post-War Healing Process Easy
Lebanese may have lost homes, loved ones and livelihoods, but one thing they haven't lost in the aftermath of the war is their legendary sense of humor. Jokes helped them survive Israel's devastating military onslaught and are now making the post-war healing process a lot easier.
Anecdotes are to be found everywhere -- in living rooms, text messages, television shows, e-mails and even blogs, where some Israeli users have been less than amused. Amid sad stories about lost loved ones, destroyed homes and impoverished people who had to live in public schools, they joke about everything: the Israelis, the Americans, the Arabs, but mostly they tell self-deprecating gags.
Three Hizbullah fighters run out of Beirut's southern suburbs after Israeli raids, flashing the victory sign. Actually, no. They were really pointing out that there were only two buildings left standing.
Why did rents go up in Ain el-Rummaneh district overlooking the southern suburbs? Because it has sea view now!
Why are coquettish elderly Lebanese women very happy about the war? Because it took them back 30 years.
Why will Hizbullah chief Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah win the Nobel Prize for Education? Because he is the only man who sent one million people to school in just two days.
But they also tell jokes of bravery against the Israelis.
Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert was sitting in his office wondering how to invade Lebanon when his telephone rang. Beirut's most famous imaginary character announces to him in a heavily accented voice: "This is Abul Abed and I am calling to tell you that we are officially declaring war on you." "How big is your army?" replies Olmert. "Right now," said Abul Abed, "there is myself, my cousin Mustafa, my next-door neighbor Abu Khaled, and the whole team from the tea house. That makes eight!"Olmert paused. "I must tell you Abul Abed, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."Abul Abed paused, then said: "Mr. Olmert, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!""And what equipment would that be Abul Abed?", Olmert asked. "Well sir, we have two Mercedes 180s, and a truck.""I must tell you Abul Abed that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to two million!""Mr. Olmert, we have to call off this war," said Abul Abed."I'm sorry to hear that," said Olmert. "Why the sudden change of heart?""Well," said Abul Abed, "we've come to realize that there is no way we can feed two million prisoners!"
Israel's systematic destruction of bridges in the offensive launched after Hizbullah captured two Israeli soldiers on July 12 has also been a source of inspiration.
Olmert sent a commando operation deep into Lebanon. Mission: Capture Lebanese diva Fairuz. He insists on finding the only bridge he did not destroy: an imaginary bridge evoked for decades in a romantic Fairuz aria."On the bridge 'Lawziyeh,' under the shade of the leaves," goes the song.
Early one day, a man rushes desperately to the dentist. "Please take out my bridge, or the Israelis will bomb it!"
Advertising agencies have also entered the game. A gigantic black poster covers the entire side of a five-story building: It shows the golden Johnnie Walker character with his top hat and waistcoast blithely striding after leaping over a gap on a destroyed bridge. Internet users are sharing a picture of U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice in the arms of Hizbullah chief Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah in light summer clothes, standing under the shade of palm trees at a sandy beach. It is a parody of the "Axe Effect" attraction campaign by the namesake deodorant brand.
Jokes are also abundant about the Arabs too. After Saudi Arabia decided to donate half a billion dollars to rebuild Lebanon, Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak ordered the capture of six Israeli soldiers at the border.
Amid a mass evacuation of foreign nationals from Lebanon, Palestinian refugees who have been stranded in Lebanon for nearly 60 years are ecstatic: the Palestinian Authority has decided to evacuate its nationals as well.
But in a country that has repeatedly been invaded by Israel, the one joke everyone likes to tell remains: An Israeli recently arrives at London's Heathrow airport. As he fills out a form, the customs officer asks him: "Occupation?" The Israeli promptly replies: "No, just visiting!"
(AFP)

49 Comments:

Blogger susu said...

THIS IS HOW LEBANESE DEAL WITH THE PAIN OF REBUILDING ! BCS THERE IS NO HOPE FOR THIS SITUATION OR EVEN A SOLUTION!

1:06 PM  
Blogger MERKOVA said...

GREAT JOKES .....where can I get some more? I tell these jokes to my office workers. They are in tears rolling in the floor.

1:57 PM  
Blogger mejnuni said...

laughter is a great healer and those were clever jokes,the last one about pax at Heathrow airport is my favorite

3:11 PM  
Blogger Rick said...

These are very good; glad you can keep your sense of humor through this time.

4:20 PM  
Blogger Liliane said...

Oh there are some jokes in this post I haven't heard before!

There is this as well, that goes on the tune of Haifa's song:

Leik el da7ye, shouf el da7ye, sarit el da7ye ba7

Funny sad :S

4:42 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

What's the biggest joke of all?

Muslims, Leb's, terrorists and you people.

Would someone post a few jewish run jokes...... I haven't seen any? Maybe I'm not looking hard enough. Oh ya, they find nothing to joke about, they lost over allot of people and are truly hurt. The lebs could careless about the people lost and make jokes. They don't care about the deaths becasue they allowed HZ to use their women and children as shields. SO they laugh to clear thier conscience. You people should be ashammed. People die and you drink, people die and you joke!

5:41 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

You're all a bunch of very sad people.

If Bush or any America were to make a joke your pussies would hang him alive in the press. Two sided double talking faggots.

5:42 PM  
Blogger lola said...

SHUT UP SAM.

6:06 PM  
Blogger lola said...

SAM... Take care of yourself and your country. No one is asking anything of you. Trust me, we would be mad if we did ask for your help. You hate this blog and cuss it out, yet i see your name everywhere EVERYDAY!
What's your secret? Are you not aloud to talk at work? Does everyone there shut you up as well?

6:11 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

As you can't tell Lola, no one can shut me up. Good ob though, I guess thats why your all os blind.

When my country gets bashed and trashed by you people and traitors here I will stand up for it. The diff is my country has two legs to stand on and two arms in which to slap you around with. That is why everyone is attacking us in spirit and in fleash. At work, I'm loved. I made the company over 300,000 profit, not sales but profit last year alone. I am the guy everyone likes to party withm hanfg out with and I always lend a helping hand to those that need it.

you people don't deserve anything but hate. So live with that and your meaningless lives.

6:55 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

PS I pissed becasue even when I was being very NICE and tryin g to make a point maot of you still aggravated the situation and called me every name in the book. Like the hate the Muslims feel twoards the world I now feel it right back. And YES I know allot of people here are not Muslims, but if they are supporting you casue then have choosen the wrong Americans to help. They shut the door on open thought, they mock and insult opposing idea's. So back to the hate, thanks guys I love feleing like this but since I tried and you guys acted the way you did I'm a hater like you. I just hate anyone [most everyone] in this blog. I don't care what you say or do I am never leaving unless it's bu my will.

7:04 PM  
Blogger Doc said...

Very funny jokes. Thanks for sharing. Laughter is very good for the spirit. And if the spirit is whole, there is always room for hope.

7:46 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

Hey Doc, how much do you donate to the terrorists every year? How are you helping HZ. You made the HZ threat the other day, so tell us all how you fit in the terror cell system?

Do your kids all have toy AK-47's that they paly with or are they real ones? You may claim to be a Christian but your not, your a terrorist in waiting. Waiting to hijack a plane of innocent people and fly it into more innocent people. Come one, what's your J-had name?

8:09 PM  
Blogger MERKOVA said...

I printed the jokes and everyone laugh so hard.

They say "lebanese are a bunch of retards" lol ........

They love it when hesrallah declared victory but beirut lays in ruins.... lol ......

8:15 PM  
Blogger Doc said...

Sam, dont take me seriously because i dont take you seriously. I donate to my local church only. Dude, get a life.

8:56 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

I have a life Doc, It's a great life. I don't live in denyal like so many people here. My eyes are wide open. you made the threat and from a person who was rasied in a terrorist place we know what you're all capable of. Twin Towers, Pentagon, Flight 93, US Marins in Leb, all of the terror bombings are from your land not ours. Cages, thats where your people belong, just like animals in the zoo.

9:44 PM  
Blogger Doc said...

amusing. feel sorry for u really. i hope God touches your soul. will pray for u. remember that Jesus taught us to love our enemies..best wishes.

9:55 PM  
Blogger clare said...

Laughter is indeed the best medicine sometimes, even if the laughter is through tears. Still praying for peace for all concerned.

10:48 PM  
Blogger mejnuni said...

Lola, doc , merkova, In America we have the "ugly american" Sam is one of them.
We dont employ people like him ,we dont rent to people like him, his voice is unimportant to us. We dont even count his vote in America. We let him think we do...but we dont. He doesn't count here so ignore him there.
He is not the life of the party and he did not make his company 300,000. in profits.
One of the traits of a worthless american is to tell you HOW much money
they make because they think that gives them stature. truth is these days especially nice americans with real value dont mention their money,

Its kinda like if you have a porche, ,why race with a volkswagon!

Sam is a bad joke thats not funny.
he is boring with a small vocabulary.
lets just skim over him like he doesnt exist. thats how we treat sams in america. Sams hate to be ignored,so lets do it.watch him talk to himself.
he can be the life of his own party.
SKIM OVER HIM,he'll either piss off or he'll flop around like a fish out of water until he is out of breath.

11:10 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

In America we have..... Um I'm many generation American, when did your family come over and for what, to start a quickie mart or gas station or maybe a towing company? I'm sure I'm close but if I messed your families profession then your into dealing carpets and rugs. I am an American and your a newbie, a minority. do your kids or family members get special deals for school? Well I can't nor didn't. I'm a majority in this country and what ever you write can't remove that. Sure people don't rent to me, I own. Employed, all we employee is minorities like your family members. Great tax breaks for using second class people.

I didn't say my salary, that’s my business. that was the profit earned for my company via my efforts. You have probably stolen that, embezzled that much at least. It's okay we know your type, that’s why we call it profiling dumbass. I get on airplane and people feel safer, your kind gets on and wonders, does he or she have a bomb or are they related to one that does. Is this towel a Terrorist, must be they're Arabs of Muslim.

11:47 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

Hey do ya think business is returning to normal in Leb? Well in Israel it is, we just placed and order for some connectors manufactured there. They said theywill ship them tomorrow. It's great they have the ability to control their own destiny. What about Leb, oh they can't even get stuff in. Ha Ha, my companies money is going into Israel, that is so cool. I'm glad they're back up and running 100%.

True story, great timing too.

12:06 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

This blog has really slowed down, so many people have left. I guess I will teach you clowns not to give up, I never have and never will. But your all terrorists and supporters of them as well as Democrates [the countries ass's}.

Sam Sam Sam Sam!!!! Go Sam!

12:08 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

A story released recently, let’s see how you people denounce what the Leb Prime Minister said. They would be the last Arab people to sign a peace agreement. He’s a terrorist too, I say start the bombing again, finish the job and kill more Leb’s, kill them all. Then peace will come, a piece here, a piece there. The only peace that is possible in the Middle East is the dirt covered with pieces of you and your families. A form of fertilizer, maybe the Jews can use your land to farm their food..

Excerpt:
However, Lebanese Prime Minister Fuad Saniora said in Beirut that Lebanon “will be the last Arab country that could sign a peace agreement with Israel.”


JERUSALEM - Israel sidestepped demands Wednesday from visiting U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan that it immediately lift its sea and air blockade of Lebanon and withdraw its forces once 5,000 international troops are deployed.

Prime Minister Ehud Olmert indicated Israel would only lift the blockade and withdraw its soldiers from Lebanon after the full implementation of a U.N.-brokered cease-fire.

Annan and Israeli officials said they hoped that truce would lead to a full peace accord between Israel and Lebanon.

However, Lebanese Prime Minister Fuad Saniora said in Beirut that Lebanon “will be the last Arab country that could sign a peace agreement with Israel.”

And a Hezbollah minister in the Lebanese Cabinet said that the guerrilla group will not unconditionally release two Israeli soldiers whose capture set off the conflict, saying they would only be freed in a prisoner exchange.

“There will be no unconditional release. This is not possible,” Minister of Energy and Hydraulic Resources Mohammed Fneish said in Beirut. “There should be an exchange through indirect negotiations. This is the principle to which Hezbollah and the resistance are adhering.”

Under the U.N.-brokered truce that ended 34 days of fighting between Israel and Lebanon’s Hezbollah guerrillas, 15,000 Lebanese soldiers and up to 15,000 international troops are to be deployed and enforce an arms embargo on Hezbollah. The 2,500 U.N. observers currently monitoring the Israel-Lebanon border have a very limited mandate.

Israel has said it would not lift its blockade unless international forces, along with Lebanese troops, are deployed on the Israel-Lebanon border and Lebanon’s frontier with Syria to prevent the flow of weapons to Hezbollah.

Syria has said it would consider the presence of international troops on its border a hostile act and Lebanon has said it would deploy its own forces there, but bar international troops. Annan has backed Lebanon in the dispute.

12:19 AM  
Blogger hyderabadi guy said...

Tuesday, August 29, 2006
INDIAN MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT ASADUDDIN OWAISI IN LEBANON AND SYRIA

HYDERABAD LOK SABHA MP ASADUDDIN OWAISI IS THE FIRST INDIAN DIPLOMAT TO VISIT LEBANON AFTER THE WAR ACCORDING TO THE ETEMAAD URDU DAILY NEWSPAPER WWW.ETEMAADDAILY.COM MR ASADUDDIN IS ON A PRIVATE VISIT TO LEBANON AND SYRIA AND NOT REPRESENTING THE INDIAN OR THE UPA GOVERNMENT OVER THERE IT IS SAID TO BE A GODWILL VISIT AND TO SHOW SUPPORT OF INDIAN MUSLIMS IN THE WAKE OF DEATH AND MASSIVE DESTRUCTION OVER THERE ACCORDING TO THE REPORTS MR OWAISI FLEW FROM DELHI TO DAMASCUAS CAPITAL OF SYRIA AND WAS THERE FOR 3DAYS AND EVEN VISITED ISALMIC HOLY SHRINES AND EVEN VISITED THE GRAND UMMAYD MOSQUE AND AFTER THAT HE WENT TO BEIRUT AND ON HIS STAY THERE HE VISITED THE SOUTHEREN PART OF BEIRUT CITY WHICH WAS THE MOST BOMBED AREA IN BEIRUT WHICH WAS REPETADELY STUCK BY ISRAELI WARPLANES AND FROM THERE HE ALONG WITH VARIOUS OTHER SOCIAL AND AID ACTVISTS HE WENT TO QANA AND VISITED THE PLACE WHERE A BUILDING WAS COLLAPSED AFTER A ISRAELI AIRSTRIKE IN WHICH 57 CIVILLANNS WERE KILLED AND MR OWAISI HAS EVEN VISITED THE PORT CITY OF TYRE WHICH WAS DESERTED AT THE TIME OF WAR AND BINT JEBIL AN AREA IN SOUTHERN LEBANON WHICH WAS THE MAIN BATTLEFRONT BETWEEN HEZBOLLAH FIGHTERS AND ISRAELI ARMY AND IS SAID THAT THE WHOLE VILLAGES IN THAT AREA HAVE BEEN DEVASTED BY THE FIGHTING WHICH LASTED FOR A34 DAYS AND ON HIS VISIT TO BEIRUT THE HYDERABAD MP GAVE AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW TO THE HEZBOLLAHS RUN TV AL MANAR AND IS SAID THAT HE HAS CAME TO LEBANON TO SHOW HIS SOLADIRTY WITH THE LEBANESE PEOPLE AND HE EVEN MET WITH MANY CIVILLANS AND OLD AGE WOMEN WHOSE SONS WERE KILLED WHILE FIGHTING THE ISRAELI ARMY MR OWAISI WILL STAY IN LEBANON AND MEET LEBABNESE PARLIAMENTARINS AND EVEN WILL VISIT INDIAN EMBASSY IN BEIRUT AND MEET INDIAN EMBASSY STAFF AND AMBASSADOR .THERE ARE SOME REPORTS SUGGESTED THAT HE EVEN MET HEZBOLLAH LEADRS WHILE HIS STAY IN BEIRUT.

posted by deccannews at Tuesday, August 29, 2006

0 Comments:

12:48 AM  
Blogger Peach said...

These jokes are great but nothing makes me laugh more than Sam's posts. Their great. Sam is great. Keep it up smelly poop.

12:56 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

Oh peace, you're back. you're just to dumb to know when stop.

PS, that smell is you. Try to douce and clean your slef more often. A stinky pussy isn't a happy pussy and thats why your so angery. You want a great laugh, go look in the mirror. Yes thats your face, soeey you have to live with a mug like that. I wouldn't show it either if I were you.

Go back to playing with your legos and let the other kids play in peace. Your own poat are only about me, are you a stalker?

1:14 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

Good God, you guy's bag on my typing! HairBall guy has the lonest sentence I've seen yet. Nice grasp! Keep posting.

1:17 AM  
Blogger mejnuni said...

Aloha doc, Aloha clare ,aloha lola,aloha merkova.
see what I mean?...flip flop flip flop
its amuzing to hear this ugly american describe me.
I have traveled this world over and retired at age 35.

you want to hear a joke? once, two of my employees had a person like SAM strip searched just because they could. Of course I had to scold them (over a couple of blooy mary's ) with deep understanding for why they did it.

I think God has a sense of hunor too!

On a more serious note: I saw a child on TV, she was Lebanese with blood all over her face. Her eyes caught me, they were cofused and her face said "why?" she was sitting in a hospital waiting room.maybe 10 or twelve years old

she was the spitting image of my niece who is Jewish living in LA. My sisters daughter......her face was bloodied in Lebanon. The image is painted in my memory.
why didnt Israel contact Lebanons PM or PRES when the two soldiers were abducted? Because Israel did not want peace.....as Condi Rice is now seeing.

America talks about how we won't tolerate terrorist. If this is true why does the Klu Klux Klan stiil operate as
AKO in present day America.?

And the KKK had 4 million members some
well placed in government positions. 10,000 KKK members marched down Pensylvania avenue in DC. America allowed this terrorist group to arm and
kill and today this group still terrorizes Black Americans.
112 years ago America stole Hawaii and deposed the Hawaiian Monarchy. Pres Clinton appologized 100 years after the fact. Hawaiians were and are demoralized as the Palestinians are. Maybe in 100 years Israel will appologize for making Palestinians second class citizens in their own country.

Dont believe the ignorance of Sams in this world, we all know there are goo decent americans and Israelis that know
our countries policies are wrong. We are doing everything to make others aware and Americans and Israelis who believe in freedoms are waking up and its certainly an improvement. The SAMS of the world are not the majority.

I was brought up not to speak out rudely, but the truth is rude. Its foul,its ugly, but we need to speak up and we are more than in the past.

ps there are alot of Lebanese Americans who have given more to America than SAM evercould. ALOHA

1:17 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

To bad you use the word aloha, my mum would be sad. She actually lives there and isn't a psoer.

We all doubt that the Lebs could or have done more.

If I'm so um important why do you keep responding.

Try to have me strip searched you fag and and you'll see what a REAL Amreican does. I don't hide behind women and chidren either.

1:46 AM  
Blogger Peach said...

Whoa Whoa Whoa, what’s all this? I’m beginning to think you really do hate me poopy. Please say it aint so. But I must admit you do have me and all my American friends laughing at your stupidity Sammy.
Oh how i enjoy it. Let’s see what other filthy thing you have to say about me. Why do you feel threatened by me so much shit face? Is it because i am a female? Or maybe because im an American? ...BOOO! Did i scare you Sammy? I still think you are just insecure about yourself...are you hiding something poopy? Ha ha

1:47 AM  
Blogger mejnuni said...

The Lebanese PM SENIORA has become more angry as he was able to see the damage Israel did to obvious places that haave nothing to do with Hezbollah. I ddidnot believe it until I too like the rest of the world including Condi Rice, can see that the damage toLebanon was not about Hezbollah and 2 soldiers , it was about debilitating Lebanon economically.
I did not believe that at first, but really aafter seeing it is clear.
The only reason Israel stopped is because they were made to stop FINALLY by America. PM Seniora is pissed that it took so long. and I would be too. however that is not in Lebanons best interest, unfortunately. Israel is playing chess and Senioras reaction is what Israel wants. What civilians want is peace. and sadly it doesnot look like we as innocent civilians are being
lead towards peace. Bush 's game: he will need to pull another 9/11 before his term is up for republicans to stay in power. Unfortunaately focus is on Iran and I am afraid Lebanon will be caught in the middle. BUSH will make a move before the american public can stop him. His term is up soon,and because america is at war our president has liberties that allow him to act without approval from the people, congress etc. This is truely a scarey time for innocent civilians in Iran ,Lebanon and Israel and it worries me that idiots like sam who are full of hate will get their wishes regardless of the majorities demands.

I am afraid that only a natural disaster will save us all. But my gut tells me otherwise. Israel,America and Iran want war and the peoples of these 3 countries do not,and all three of these countries are capable of setting the stage. please somebody tell me I am wrong.

2:35 AM  
Blogger mejnuni said...

please somebody tell me I am wrong. I want to be wrong.

2:54 AM  
Blogger mejnuni said...

I cant think of anything funny right now.

3:43 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

I love the jokes!!! Ah, what else can you do?

I apologize on behalf of America for some of the comments posted on this blog by my countrymen.

I have seen Lebanon, I have met many Lebanese, and I plan on pouring as many of my tourist dollars as I can back into Lebanon next summer, because it is a beautiful amazing country and I believe in it.

6:23 AM  
Blogger clare said...

I am not particularly political and really just began following what is going on in the middle east with the recent conflict in Lebanon. Isn't that terrible? I guess it is easy to ignore the rest of the world sometimes. But the images of children being killed and injured really woke me up and by coincidence a palestinian catholic was recently selling crafts at our church, made in the Holy Land to help the people there. I stood in the vestibule and talked to him, missing most of Mass ( holding a crying baby). He told me his daughter was blinded in one eye by an Israeli attack near his home and showed me pictures of her and the rest of his family. He now lives in the U.S. I guess what I am trying to say is that the issues in the middle east are more complicated that we are led to believe and maybe as a nation we should be more open to dialogue with other countries. I love my country, and I know it is not perfect but the people here are good and kind for the most part. we just don't understand the complexities of what is going on.

6:45 AM  
Blogger M2Timechange said...

How to prevent “Hate”

Ever since in the wake of September 11, some of world leader’s focus shift from rescue to retaliation. Above all, it is unwise for us to foment hate in our mind and hearts as after all hate that caused this disaster in the first place. Unfortunately, most of us become prejudice after learning from media images which is biased towards the Muslims because of the attacks on innocent people of Muslim decent. Some of Americans and Western have absorbed stereotypes of the whole range of ethnics and religious group. We have to learn to differentiate between hate and anger. The anger must not mutated into hatred toward the people of an entire nation or religion or ethnics group.

September 11 acts of terrorism were committed by a group of people, not by all the members of a particular ethnics or religion.

People who commit acts of violence come from every country, ethnics group, and religion.

When we hear prejudicial remarks made on the news, we have to analyze and evaluate the situation. It is wrong to make generalizations about any group of people.

The perpetrators of the Oklahoma bombings, another attack against Americans, were Americans of European descent. However, blame was immediately and wrongly assigned to people from the Middle East.

Take a look at our own biases and prejudices, we all have different ones.

Make an effort to learn other’s people cultures around the world. Sharing your interest and understanding with them as it will help us to appreciate the similarities and differences among people whose ethnicity or religion differ from their own.

Make an effort to read books or articles about ethnicities and cultures other than your own.

Identify stereotyping when it occurs in movies, television programs, and the news.

We can always talk in this blog about the complexities of stereotyping and how it leads to hatred. Remember the Pearl Harbour, the Holocaust, and the ethnic cleansing in Bosnia and Rwanda, Lebanon 1982 civil war during Israel invasion, current Sunni and Shia sectarian violent in Iraq and never ending violent in Gaza are powerful examples of this phenomenon.

Please digest

7:46 AM  
Blogger mejnuni said...

after 15 years of renting, the only problems I have ever had are with white americans. One tenant told me the sun was too bright for the window. I had just returned from overseas with beautiful fabrics so I let him choose and in 3 days he had drapes,gorgeous.
no thank you he was white and acted like it was his right. 2 days later he changed the oil in his zodiac boat in my pool.30 days your're out!(3 mos later I introduced his girlfriend to a nice friend)she deserved a better man,sorry.

another time white male shows up on our veranda sleeping in the hammock.when my sister tells him he cant sleep here and has to go ,he tells her he's "gonna make her wish she never met him" she replied,"you already have"( now a gated house on the beach)

walk out to gated pool area one day and white couple swimming. they saw the pool from their hike on the hill and "it looked so refreshing just had to jump in"

so many experiences with rude white americans who travel and believe its their right as a white american.

I am a white american and they jump when I show up, as though they thought
I might be....?(as sam,a gas station owner..I wish)

I helped a white tenant with her electric bill her late rent her dogs and finally gave her 30 days notice after one year. (discovered the house with 12 cats inside)inside destroyed.AND she stole my handmade in Fiji coconut wood and Italian Leather emerald green loveseat. (she sits in jail tonight on charges of grand theft.)

I rent to 2 bikers that look like hells angels on harleys, I rent to black man
from hospital,european, brazilian,old retired ladies. Never a problem with so called American minorities. My experiences with white americans has been horrendous.
White americans ,British and Australians always want me in their crowd it seems, but I always experience bigoted remarks toward foreigeners jews that I politely decline.(i lived in AUS and England) also lived in Egypyt Guatemala Panama Philippines Tahiti Mariana Japan
visited Tehran twice in 78 and Greece ,Germany etc etc
I hear what youre saying and I keep trying to see the good but I want to raise the rent $500 for whites just to cover legal fees that seem to be inevitable.

my heart wont let me but come on.... I know I am not the only one who experinces the bigoted american. every american that travels knows that somewhere somehow they were preceded by the "ugly american"

when I am old I will retire in a foreign country for sure.its in the works.

wish I was wrong, its sad but true and
the only reason I can voice it is because I am a whit american. Foreigners say it and they are deemed prejudice. we are not prejudice, its a very real reaccuring problem.

11:11 AM  
Blogger mrtez said...

Stupidity is the quality or condition of being stupid, or lacking intelligence, as opposed to being merely ignorant or uneducated. This quality can be attributed to both an individual himself (e.g. Penny Person is stupid.) or his actions, words or beliefs (e.g., Penny Person's policies are stupid.). The term can thus also refer to poor use of judgement, or insensitivity to nuances in a person who is otherwise intelligent. The determination of who is stupid is relatively difficult, despite attempts to measure intelligence (and thus stupidity) such as IQ tests. The adjective is also used as a general pejorative. (e.g., I didn't borrow your stupid cap - go look for it yourself.)

Synonyms for stupid include idiotic, moronic, imbecilic and retarded. The use of "dumb" can also be used to indicate stupid, but it has other frequently used connotations, including deafness and ignorance.

11:22 AM  
Blogger mejnuni said...

your point mr tez? .....get to it directly. or it just sounds well,stupid.

11:37 AM  
Blogger M2Timechange said...

Mrtez,

We need both I.Q and E.Q (Emotional Intelligence)

“Why do we do things we know we will regret?" "How can I make a positive difference in the world?" "What does it really mean to be happy?" "What is the root cause of anger, violence, and greed?" "Why are people so disconnected and uncaring these days?" "How can people in the richest countries be so unhappy?"
There's not much point to either wealth or relationships if you aren't happy.

It is hard to be happy with others if you aren't happy alone.

It is hard to be happy alone if you don't feel good about yourself, i.e. have high self-esteem

It is hard to have good feelings about yourself if you don't have good emotional management skills.

Emotional management skills, the prime subject of EQ, are, therefore, one of the most fundamental ingredients of happiness.

People with high EQ are happier, healthier, and more successful in their relationships.
High EQ people exhibit all of the following:
A balance between emotion and reason
An awareness of their own feelings
Empathy and compassion for others
Signs of high self-esteem
We are not all created emotionally equal--we have widely different natural temperaments.
The way we act out, express, and utilize our emotions, however, can be changed significantly.
Our bodies carry around unexpressed and unresolved feelings to the detriment of our physical health.
Emotions are contagious. Intense people are most likely to spread their emotions to others.

Mejnuni,

It is good to express your feeling, but the manner in which you present that count.

12:01 PM  
Blogger susu said...

SAM WOULD U MAKE PEACE WITH A TWO FACED ENEMY! NO I DON'T THINK SO! WHERE IS UR PICTURE BEFORE U START TALKING ABOUT SOME ELSE'S LOOKS. U ARE A HYPOCRITE I HAVE TO SAY IT U R CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK! WHATS WITH THE SPELLING ! SAM U R THE JESTER OF THIS SITE TO ANYONE WHO SEES UR POSTS THEY ARE RIDICULOUS TO HILARIOUS!

12:14 PM  
Blogger susu said...

U R CALLING PM OF LEBANON A TERRORIST WHEN EVERY SINGLE LEBANESE WOULD HATE TO HAVE A PEACE WITH ISRAEL HAPPEN SO DON'T CALL US TERRORISTS AFTER WHAT UR GOV. DID NO WONDER WE CAN'T STAND U?

12:52 PM  
Blogger mejnuni said...

its ashame you all missed my sarchasm, I'm told it is not becoming but it is certainly effective.

I guess you did not see the humor in how
american women must sometimes be strong enough to defend their independence if in fact they treasure it.
A man is not a catch unless he is really a man.

Our home on the beach is all women, we are different we accept that, but we never appologize,and for some reason...duh...we always have our privacy invaded by the strangest people. For instance I asked one jerk how he could even address women in such a foul manner,his reply?... sooner or later one will say yes" and yes for him she would probably have to be on drugs and unfortunately we have a social drug problem in our country,
You see MR TEZ and m2timechange a barrel of heroin fetches more than abarrel of oil in america.

Where oes heroin come from gentlemen?(there I go with that sarchasm and intelligence from a woman no less) I guess it is unbecomming that a woman be intelligent, but not to my friends and certainly my husband appreciates the match. thus I love him. As I said before,intelligence is attractive especially in a man from my point of view,
Dont tell me Indian,Lebanese and Iranian women are not smarter than there counterparts, They are equally if not more from those I know and know well.If a man is smart he will choose an equally smart woman aand his life will be easier.

perhaps it is your youth that lends to your emotional intellect, perhaps it is my experience that lends to mine.

some things are the way they are anddddddd no time will not change it. It took Israel 3000 years to get to the holy land and ,thus here we are, discussing Einstein and pseudo- intellectualism. and emotinal intelligence.
TELL me gentlemen , to the point, what do you see happening in the world with regard to the Middle East.?????
The war, America,Lebanon Israel,Iran ,Syria ???? What do your minds foresee
in the near future? 2 months ? by 2008?

Tell me again Mr,TEZ about Stupid.

1:18 PM  
Blogger mejnuni said...

its ashame you all missed my sarchasm, I'm told it is not becoming but it is certainly effective.

I guess you did not see the humor in how
american women must sometimes be strong enough to defend their independence if in fact they treasure it.
A man is not a catch unless he is really a man.

Our home on the beach is all women, we are different we accept that, but we never appologize,and for some reason...duh...we always have our privacy invaded by the strangest people. For instance I asked one jerk how he could even address women in such a foul manner,his reply?... sooner or later one will say yes" and yes for him she would probably have to be on drugs and unfortunately we have a social drug problem in our country,
You see MR TEZ and m2timechange a barrel of heroin fetches more than abarrel of oil in america.

Where oes heroin come from gentlemen?(there I go with that sarchasm and intelligence from a woman no less) I guess it is unbecomming that a woman be intelligent, but not to my friends and certainly my husband appreciates the match. thus I love him. As I said before,intelligence is attractive especially in a man from my point of view,
Dont tell me Indian,Lebanese and Iranian women are not smarter than there counterparts, They are equally if not more from those I know and know well.If a man is smart he will choose an equally smart woman aand his life will be easier.

perhaps it is your youth that lends to your emotional intellect, perhaps it is my experience that lends to mine.

some things are the way they are anddddddd no time will not change it. It took Israel 3000 years to get to the holy land and ,thus here we are, discussing Einstein and pseudo- intellectualism. and emotinal intelligence.
TELL me gentlemen , to the point, what do you see happening in the world with regard to the Middle East.?????
The war, America,Lebanon Israel,Iran ,Syria ???? What do your minds foresee
in the near future? 2 months ? by 2008?

Tell me again Mr,TEZ about Stupid.

1:18 PM  
Blogger mejnuni said...

tell me m2time change, about happiness and how it can be found,?

My husband finds it on waves and I on a jetski ,with camera in tow.

I try to farm but its not my forte, but I can lay tile. I'm improving . gawd knows I will have to gut my rental soon since my tenant thru her own insecurity felt I ha therefor it was her right to take,nevermind how much I gave her and helped her.

I tried to rent a studio in SFO,china town for the summer . the chinese lay said"no, you white!" my husband and I laughed so hard because we had the emotianal experience understanding. Then we went and had roast duck.

life was not always so easy, we worked annd we never took from people who were kind to us or mean for that matter.

1:31 PM  
Blogger SnoopyTheGoon said...

Good set, mrtez, I like most of them, although (and you probably know it), a few are just a rehash of the old ones. But nothing is new under the sun.

Here is another one as a small payback:

http://simplyjews.blogspot.com/2006/08/to-people-of-lebanon.html

And let's leave susu and sam and a few others in their sandbox meanwhile...

Cheers.

1:31 PM  
Blogger acoustiss said...

Love the jokes, thanks.

3:08 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

Susu Peddles, you guys are as two faced as anyone. Open your eye's or take the vial off and see the world your in.

I no longer care for peace; I hope Israel boms Leb, Iran and any other country that threatens it’s people back into the stone age and if they need the help of the Americans I would gladly spill my blood to fight side by side with their army to do it. I now HATE, truly despise all people against the Jews, whether they’re America, Muslim, Arab or Persian. You people are so blinded by your own views that you see nothing. The holy war is coming but it’s not a faggot Muslim Jihad, it’s the modern day crusade to put down Islam once and for all. To bad the guys Eastern Europe didn’t get more done and rid the world of more of you nut jobs.

7:25 PM  
Blogger M2Timechange said...

Conspiracy Theories

http://www.memritv.org/Search.asp?ACT=S5&P1=80#

3:00 PM  

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