Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Donkey days ahead?

So what do you do when there is no more gasoline left? Tomorrow, on day 21, I’ll be getting up at about 6:30AM to be first in line at the gas station. Apparently it will be closed by 12 noon and the limit per person is only six bucks. I’m thinking I could conserve a full tank for about 2, 3 weeks tops. (I’m becoming a pro at coasting in neutral—though not sure if is all that good for the transmission.)
My father’s car also has a full tank, but the battery is dead. Anyone have any tips on siphoning? I hear it’s pretty hard to siphon gas out of an old Mercedes. It’s a big hunk of metal actually. By the way, does siphoning gas stain your teeth? Any of you out there ever consider that?
On the up side, not having a car may not so bad after all. Since the Israelis have destroyed our beaches with the worst oil spill since Exon Valdez, the least we could do is cut down on emissions and green house gases. Mr. TEZ will ride bike it seems. Easy for him to say; he lives in the city. That would be a real pain in the rear up here in mountains.
Then at 1:57AM, it came to me... How about a donkey?! That could be fun. Can’t you picture it? Riding around town, swaying side to side, heading to the shop, heading back home, a saddle pack with all the provisions; passing other people riding around town, also on their donkeys. Hey thanks Israel! You want to take away our future, so we’ll just have to relive our past, right?? Maybe we’ll come up with some crazy outfits as well. Like those pointy Phoenician hats, or what about a tarboush (Fez)?
Give us a heads up though, will ya please? Initially the generals indicated you wanted to turn the clock back on us by only 20 years. Obviously we’re passed that stage. So what’s it going to be? French mandate, ottoman era, Roman times? We still have Baalbeck, right? Or did you bomb that too? Only seems to be one problem though. Where on earth are we going to find hay? Maybe Condeleeza could send us some from the Bush ranch.

23 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

your link to The Independent doesn't work

2:35 AM  
Blogger sarah mac said...

while i'm glad that you've retained some sarcastic humor in this terrible situation (often the only panacea against the pain), i sincerely hope that the eventual reconstruction efforts are a global effort to ensure that the once blossoming culture of the country is not lost in the coming decades. anything less is deplorable.

and by the way, you can successfully siphon gas by using a hose. a little tricky since you will get gasoline in your mouth when the stream starts to flow...be sure to spit it out immediately and rinse with water while you put the hose into the other cars tank recepticle. maybe it's worth a try.

3:30 AM  
Anonymous Chuck Norris said...

You know, that gasoline ain't so bad if you mix it with a splash of tonic and a lime.

3:52 AM  
Blogger mikealpha said...

Good luck to you. The world needs people with a sense of humor.

4:10 AM  
Anonymous clementine said...

Thanks for your blog. I'm a 3rd Generation Lebanese-American and DISGUSTED by my goverment. May G-d keep Lebanon safe.

5:19 AM  
Anonymous Maxine Mesbergen, Mt. Pleasant MI said...

So glad to be able to read about experiences directly from you in Lebanon. Want to learn more about this part of the world, as it's so important to our history.
Am very disappointed and ashamed of the Bush administration. They seem to be losing the trust of ever more Americans...and it's about time!! Wonder if we have any "allies" left in the world?
Will check in to your blog daily. Thank you and I wish you safety and know you'll be able to "improvise" since you're doing a great job already!
Maxine Mesbergen in Mt. Pleasant Michigan (a retired 78-yr-old)

6:11 AM  
Blogger M WILLIS said...

DUDE GET REAL, ISREAL IS ONLY TRYING TO PROTECT IT'S PEOPLE, HEZBOLA IS FIRING ROCKETS FROM POPULATED CIVILIAN AREAS AND WANTING ISREAL TO BLOW THEM UP SO THE WORLD CAN SAY " LOOK WHAT ISREAL IS DOING, THEY ARE KILIING CHILDREN AND WOMEN!"BUT NOT TRUE, ISREAL IS FIRING AT KNOWN SIGHTS THAT WERE USED BY HEZBOLA TO FIRE THEIR ROCKETS, NOW I ASK YOU, IF SOMEONE WAS TRYING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN AND KILL YOUR FAMILY, WOULD YOU NOT FIGHT WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT TO DESTROY HIM FIRST? I WOULD,HEZBOLA IS EVIL AND WILL GET WHAT'S COMING TO THEM, ISREAL IS THE LAND GIVEN BY GOD TO THE JEWS AND I STAND BESIDE THEM EVERY STEP OF THE WAY!

9:01 AM  
Blogger the perpetual refugee said...

Donkeys in Beirut. My grandfather will feel young again.

What the hell is M willis all about?

9:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

M WILLIS "DUDE"!!!!!!!

i pity people like you.... really people like you are ignorant and arrogant..you believe only what CNN tells you and what you hear.... Hizboallah are not angels but are defintiely not killers like the Isreali's.... they shoot to kill...Half of the people who have died are lebanese children not SOlDIERS!!!!!!!! Open up your eyes and see the difference...be moderate in your judgement!!!! READ!!! educate yourself!!!!!!!!!!!

10:54 AM  
Blogger dobegs said...

HB you are funny, thanks for this post. I hope you get GAS somehow and stay safe.
DOBEGS

11:02 AM  
Blogger Sarmad said...

Hi, I don't know you but I support you. I'm also keeping a diary of events as they occur and how they are affecting life up where I am in the Brummana area. They mirror to a large extent what you describe.

Keep it up and ignore those blinkered ignorant commentors who are obviously have no conscience and seem to be brainwashed by their hatred.

8:14 PM  
Anonymous Hiba said...

HB, you've done a really good job of getting your point across. Sarcasm is very powerful.
You know, this actually brought back memories. I remember seeing dad doing this gas sipping thing back in the early 80's and of course I used to think there was something wrong with the car (was little then)...
I can't imagine how many people are reliving their worst nightmares together with those who are experiencing it for the first time.
All I can say is hang in there and just know that there will be an end to this, it's not gonna last forever.
God Bless Lebanon and its people.

p.s. M Willis, please do take some time and educate yourself.

9:09 PM  
Blogger Anon said...

Siphoning...I would say - ensure the bucket, or whatever is being used as a receptacle, is clean/spotless and below the height of the fuel tank. Using a transparent tube you can see where the fuel is up to, then you’ll know when it gets close enough to the mouthpiece...then again, if your Dad’s car has a smaller engine than yours you could always jump-start it or transfer the batteries; unless the alternator is broken. Hmmm.

I did chuckle at the notion of adopting donkeys and jazzy hats. Superb. I have jury-rigged my PDA to upload this blog so I can read it on the train every day...I think my couch-buddies, also known as commuters, must of thought I was mad.

I vote for the Fez, it worked for Tommy Cooper.

My admiration is unsurpassed as to how good will and comedy is encouraged to prevail...with my ongoing support; I salute you.

Mortimer

10:26 PM  
Blogger Nicole said...

M Willis,
It is true, Israel is killing women and children, turn on the news. And by the way, god did not give Israel to the Jews, a bit of colonial arrogance accounts for that particular development. Read a legitimate history book, study, learn, and put yourself in the shoes of the people who lived there before that act of colonial arrogance. Who knows, you might develop some wisdom and humanity, you might develop a preference for knowledge over displays of knee-jerk ignorance. Who knows...

2:21 AM  
Blogger Auriel Ragmon said...

I am appalled and worried at the situation. I just wanted to mention I have two riding donkeys and am working on using "biomass" to work a steam generator. Not because I have to, but because it just seems nice to be able to power up the electricity ourselves. Not there yet though, still in thinking stage. Best to you all, wish the nightmare would stop. I look around and think about what it would be like if our neighborhood was bombed. Terrifying. Hope all calms down soon.

8:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Talk about hatred and ignorance, just blame it all on the USA. The radicals who strike first start the war! The soldier who fires behind a skirt is not very brave.
My prayer is for peace for all people.
To siphon gas fill a hose with gas put your thumb over one end stick the other end into the gas to be siphoned remove thumb. Note:from must be above to.

6:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks HB for sharing. To that Mwillis jerk, what's this, "God gave Israel to the jews?". That is the dumbest sh*t I ever heard, the British gave Israel to the jews, last I checked they aren't God. Next you will be calling Bush God, then we know the anti-Christ here. You give a bad name to jews, that is after olmert, and netanyahu, and sharon and...I can type for days.

10:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congrats! Your CNN interview was not cut short. Israel has never cared about civilians, or they don't know diddly about finding their targets! STAY SAFE!!!

10:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yo lil bro,

Proud of you!!Text me when you wake so I know you are alive.

To everyone who does not know; he will be on CNN INT/ Sun 3pm. and keep the goodwill sentiments, we(Lebanese) appreciate it.

"DAA"...BB

4:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shue HB,

Wainek ya arse?

Hope all is well.

Love your medium brother FB.

Hope CNN hires you.

6:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wish you a Lebanon of hope and optimism in the future.

I wish you grapeleaves, kibbi, and whatever else constitutes a feast foryou when the war is over.

America is wishing our President would do more to help.

Cease fire now...that is my wish.

Peace to Lebanon

1:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey HB, it's me Phyllis, all politics and opinions aside, I just want you to know that I'm deeply worried about you and your mom. Please be as safe as possible. I'm also very proud of your accomplishments. I think about you every day and it's not easy being here and feeling helpless. Nothing compared to what you are going through I know. I'll always love you bro.

1:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Phyllis great to hear from you! send me an email

4:36 PM  

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